Obituaries

Perry Weatherson
B: 1927-10-26
D: 2017-10-17
View Details
Weatherson, Perry
Lena Kirby
B: 1928-06-02
D: 2017-10-17
View Details
Kirby, Lena
Jeffry Garrick
B: 1961-06-20
D: 2017-10-17
View Details
Garrick, Jeffry
Jean Ancheta
B: 1934-11-03
D: 2017-10-09
View Details
Ancheta, Jean
Doyle Bridgman
B: 1938-04-29
D: 2017-10-06
View Details
Bridgman, Doyle
Larry Flynn
B: 1947-05-03
D: 2017-10-03
View Details
Flynn, Larry
Edward Synak
B: 1957-10-10
D: 2017-10-01
View Details
Synak, Edward
Olen Anderson
B: 1935-10-17
D: 2017-09-26
View Details
Anderson, Olen
Lester Testerman
B: 1933-10-24
D: 2017-09-24
View Details
Testerman, Lester
Alice Wise
B: 1936-06-14
D: 2017-09-21
View Details
Wise, Alice
Betty Miller
B: 1936-02-01
D: 2017-09-20
View Details
Miller, Betty
Gerald Lemitz
B: 1929-12-10
D: 2017-09-17
View Details
Lemitz, Gerald
Elizabeth Cook
B: 1922-10-12
D: 2017-09-15
View Details
Cook, Elizabeth
Kay Lim
B: 1928-11-10
D: 2017-09-07
View Details
Lim, Kay
Clara Barrett
B: 1933-01-23
D: 2017-08-30
View Details
Barrett, Clara
Pearl McRee
B: 1919-03-14
D: 2017-08-28
View Details
McRee, Pearl
Josephine Furr
B: 1931-10-14
D: 2017-08-16
View Details
Furr, Josephine
Frances Choplin
B: 1931-07-17
D: 2017-08-12
View Details
Choplin, Frances
Ralph Mitchell
B: 1939-10-15
D: 2017-08-10
View Details
Mitchell, Ralph
Vicky Hansen
B: 1958-07-02
D: 2017-08-05
View Details
Hansen, Vicky
Dennis Neighbors
B: 1961-09-23
D: 2017-07-19
View Details
Neighbors, Dennis

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
4900 Olive Avenue
Olivehurst, CA 95961
Phone: (530) 742-6957
Fax: (530) 742-7653

Grieving with Purpose

No one is prepared for grief. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain.

Sigmund Freud first brought up the concept of grief work in 1917, and today the idea that bereavement is purpose-driven continues.

Dr. James Worden chose to see the work of bereavement as task-oriented:

  1. To accept the reality of the loss
  2. To process the pain of grief
  3. To adjust to a world without the deceased
  4. To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life

Your current job is to focus your attention on achieving each of those goals. It will not occur in any logical order; each of us is different and the path we walk in the bereavement journey is not a straight one.

Dealing with grief is hard work. It takes both courage and hard work to successfully adapt to the loss of a significant person in your life.

Six Signposts Along Your Journey

Dr. Stephen Joseph identifies what he calls six signposts to facilitate posttraumatic growth. He reminds readers too that "posttraumatic growth does not imply the absence of emotional distress and difficulties in living. It does imply that it is possible through the struggle to come out on the other side, stronger and more philosophical about life."

Before identifying these six signposts, Dr. Joseph reminds his readers of three very important things:

  • You are not on your own
  • Trauma is a normal and natural process
  • Growth is a journey

He also provides a fundamental rule: don't do anything you might not be able to handle now. "If you experience intense emotions, become physically upset, or begin to panic...stop." He gently reminds readers that "having a sense of personal control over your recovery is important. There might be some things you do not feel ready to handle now, but in time, as you discover new strength and develop new coping skills, this will likely change."

Sign Post #1: Taking Stock
Are you physically well? Are you getting enough sleep and eating the right foods for optimum health? Have you received the kind of medical, legal, or psychological help you need? What is your current condition: physically, spiritually, and emotionally?

Sign Post #2: Harvesting Hope
People traumatized by loss often feel hopeless. It's hard to get up in the mourning and thinking about the future sparks pessimism and negativity. Find inspiration in the stories of personal growth written by others; set goals and practice hope as you set out to achieve them.

Sign Post #3: Re-Authoring
Learn to tell your story differently. Take the victim mentality out of the story of loss you tell yourself and others and replace it with the word survivor to return to a sense of control over your life.

Sign Post #4: Identifying Change
Keeping a daily diary can help you to see the small changes within more easily. You can also track those moments when you feel at your best and identify the conditions that brought them about. Identify and nurture the positive changes in your life throughout your bereavement journey.

Sign Post #5: Valuing Change
Review these changes, identifying the ones that you'd like to continue to nurture. Personal transformation requires it. Growth is encouraged when we take time to think about what we have gained from loved ones and when we find a way to use what we have learned to give to others.

Sign Post #6: Expressing Change in Action
Express your growth in new behaviors or, more simply, put your growth into action. When you think in terms of concrete actions, it helps make the growth experienced within your bereavement real to you.

"By focusing on these six signposts," writes Dr. Joseph, "you will find that your posttraumatic growth is beginning to take root."

Sources: 
Freud, Sigmund. On the History of the Psycho-Analytic Movement Papers on Metaphyschology and Other Works.
Worden, James. Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner

Fleming, Stephen. The Changing Face of Grief: From 'Going On to 'On-Going''
Joseph, Stephen. What Doesn't Kill Us: the New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth

365 Days of Healing

Grieving doesn't always end with the funeral: subscribe to our free daily grief support email program, designed to help you a little bit every day, by filling out the form below.

52 Weeks of Support

It's hard to know what to say when someone experiences loss. Our free weekly newsletter provides insights, quotes and messages on how to help during the first year.